“You love being a mom. No, really. You just love it - Everything is going to be fine…” I say to myself as I am cutting gum out of my 3 year old’s hair.
Sometimes I feel like I have to psych myself up to get through the day - You love this, you chose this (well, you chose the second one, the first one…surprise!). The truth is half the time I feel like I’m just trying to keep my head above water and the other half I feel like I’ve already drowned. Relatable? Read on…
Between work, maintaining the home, my kid’s social lives (I didn't realize an 8 and now 4 year old would have such a busy social calendar), travel soccer (which let me just pause for a moment of silence for travel sports families - hats off to you! This is our first season and wowzers, I feel like I live on the side of a field). And let’s be clear, my husband is an incredibly involved father, it’s not like I’m doing this alone. Double hats off to my single mommy warriors.
IT’S STILL HARD! My family pictured below
The Struggle is Oh So Real
So how do we do it? How do we, as everyday women with real struggles and challenges get through this thing called motherhood and life without completely going under, all the time?
Find your Support: Women need a supportive bra and a supportive circle. Without one of them, everything will fall…I don’t mean support like you go to groups that meet every Tuesday (if that’s your thing, that’s cool too). I mean find other women who you can bounce ideas off of, find a community blog or online space where you can talk to other women. Text with your closest friends. I say text because I know how hard it is to be left alone to take a phone call, I’m sure you all can relate. Since starting 7 Charming Sisters, I’ve found lots of support in my fellow sisters and that’s something everyone should have. A relatable group or person that you can trust to support you though life’s most important and most trivial events. In order...Jennifer, Kimmie (me), Donalda, and Jessica pictured below at a Bubble Run supporting children with Autism
Stand in your Truth: Wherever you are, own it. I’m not a Pinterest mom, I’m an Amazon Prime mom, and that’s okay. I’m not a size 4 mom, I’m a size 10 mom. I like carbs, a lot. Like maybe more than any other food. This isn’t to disparage Pinterest or size 4 moms - My point is, stand where your truth is and don’t try to be someone you’re not. We moms have enough to do. The media portrays unrealistic standards and I tune it out. That’s one of the reasons 7 Charming Sisters is against using real models on our website. All of us are about a size 10 or larger. We refuse to contribute to unrealistic standards and want to have a safe space for women to come and feel accepted, as they are. I realize this is harder for some. One of our sisters has severe body image insecurities - that’s where point one comes in. When you’re finding it hard to stand in your truth, look to your support system for a reality check and work through it. It’s not going to happen overnight…and that’s okay, it’s a process. In order...Paula, Kimmie, and Donalda pictured below at a promotional event in NYC
Take Time for You: Don’t skim over this one. I’m not going to tell you things that you’ve heard before - crap about making time for you to work out more or go on a girls trip. Yea, okay. I feel like if women had the means to do so, they would. I’m thinking a little more practical - 10 minutes in the evening to find your joy. Maybe that’s sitting down and having a glass of wine and reading blogs at night. Maybe you like silence and just want to be still. Have at least 10 minutes a day that are for you. There used to be a guilt I would feel when I buy or do something that is just for me and it’s taken me a long time to get over that. It’s healthy. It’s normal and it makes you feel good. Stop and think, right now, what is your joy? Going back to school? Make-up? Jewelry? Sparkly statement necklaces? Relaxing? Reading? Running? Looking to get in on the choker craze (who knew the 90s would come back so soon!) Whatever it is, take the time to bring yourself joy. It will make a world of difference in your life AND your kids’ lives.
I'm obsessed with loving on my dog, pictured below is us cuddling together
So remember the gum in my son’s hair? Well I cut it out alright. I ended up making up for the bald spot on the right side of his head by sculpting a short mohawk down the middle of his hair. What seemed like a disaster at first turned out to be pretty fun. He LOVES his hair and what I thought would be a temporary fix until all his hair grew out has morphed into an ongoing cut. He gets compliments on it all the time and he adores it. Pictured below is my youngest and his mohawk. We are reading to the animals at the shelter in this picture
That’s kind of how life works. Something starts off as a total cluster F—- eventually, with a little perspective turns into something pretty cool. Stay strong mamas, stay together, support each other, we will get through it together.
About the Author: Kimmie is one of the 7 Charming Sisters. She is the ‘Life of the Party’ sister and is easily distracted by shiny things. See some of her favorite shiny things here. She lives in Virginia with her husband, sons, and dog. She enjoys eating, working with rescue dogs, and wearing leggings and sweatpants.